Minor annoyances
# 07 June 2008 19:49
So, I'm kinda hacked off.
1. My deviantArt subscription is delayed cos I have no money in my bank account, so I have to put up with this regular access that I haven't had to endure for like, 4 years, lol.
2. GalacticBasic.net is down. Still. I have no idea what's wrong with it and frankly I give up. Anyone any good at fixing websites? Grr!
3. I can't think of a #3.
Need to rant profusely at random objects and break them, I think. :)
Short summary of Sat night
# 18 March 2007 18:38
me = stripey tshirt
mirage = bastards
dy10 = shit
sam = where the hell is she?
waiting outside for half hour = cold and wet
Labels: crap, drunkeness, friends
Time to...
# 08 March 2007 12:59
...get a new car, methinks. :S
Just failed its MOT so now it's costing me money goddammit! GRR!
McWhoopdedooo
# 26 January 2007 01:49
lol, so today is 7 years since I started working at McDonalds.
Somebody shoot me in the head, plzthnx! ^_^
xx
So this is the new year...
# 23 January 2007 01:43
...and I don't feel any different.
Kudos to Death Cab for Cutie for the title. lol
So righty then, we're what, 3 weeks into 2007 and I haven't really noticed any major life changes yet. pooey.
FINALLY sorting out my room! I have awesome plans for the redecorating of it, and seeing as i have actually spent 3 days tidying and sorting out my crap so far my mum is starting to show some interest in helping me lol, I think she didn't believe I would ever get round to it. Gonna take forever to sort the junk though. Moved my computer 3 feet across to the right earlier and it took 3 bloody hours. The furniture decided to fall apart when i moved it... And then about another hour to figure out where all the cables went.
Mysteriously, my flash card reader has started working again... dunno even why it stopped. oh well, can't complain. Now my comp has the following drives: A C D E G H I J K X. lol well wasn't that interesting? No? Well I don't care. :P
ANYWAYS. the whole coming out thing seems to have settled quickly. no repurcussions or however the hell you spell that word. All seems good, yay. :)
Hair cut tomorrow. might be different for a change... hmm. maybe. Then on weds we are having a new ISP computer installed and it's my close, so apparently I get to close an hour earlier than usual... YAYAYAY!!!
Currently I am mostly feeling abit "meh". Just things and stuff getting on top of me that usually I am good at keeping at bay. Tut. Oh well, I'll survive lol. I've been worse. :P
Bored now. lol
til next time, whenever that is.
Andy
xx
so...
# 09 January 2007 02:02
I just came out to my parents.
hardest thing i've ever had to do. and i emphasise EVER.
I need hugs. :(
x
Two Thousand and Six (plus one)
# 31 December 2006 11:46
Well 2006 has been a strange year, a bit of the old but lots of the new. It's been pretty good overall, which has got to be a first... I mean the last few years before now have been pretty shitty to be fair. 2006 has been the first year that I have been comfortable with myself for a long time, and I've actually made a few accomplishments and new friends that I plan to keep.
Lets see what happened this year?
Hmm, in January I had my SCARY First Aid Course at Kidderminster College with Sam, as part of my promotion to Shift Manager at McDonald's. That was a nerve-wracking experience, but wasn't so bad and definitely can?t have been bad for my confidence.
February saw me actually go get my eyes tested and get some glasses, while March saw talk of the family moving to India, and a certain troublemaker who shall remain nameless finally quit at McDs - much to my joy. Lol
April brought my Shift Management Course at the Hamburger University in London, with Sam. Much fun was had by us down there and on the Tube. Was quite an experience and although I thought it would be scary it actually wasn't.
May was the month I started cutting down my coffee, and me and John broke up. I also had the start of my nightmare closes at work, with the Bitch Brigade out in force on my early ones to make my life hell, lol. And then there was the open that sent my on a mission to find a key in Anna's house and get back home for about 2 hours sleep before work. Oh god, what fun that was.
Then we get June, and the dreaded 06/06/06... Look up the blog post if you want, but it's where the catchphrase "it could only happen on an Andy Beard close" came from. I also got pissed off when my phone died after I got it slightly wet. And let's not forget that I came out to my mates at work, which caused less trouble than I thought it would? So I actually spent a lot of time worrying about nothing? Hmm, I can see a pattern emerging here lol.
In July I was feeling a bit down, cos my birthday plans were all turning from crap to crappier? Then I got together with my first proper boyfriend, Ashley, which totally changed the outlook I had on the year and lifted me out of my little rut and gave me another confidence boost.
August and September were actually pretty good, as I was seeing Ash, but it got crappy at the end with what was undoubtedly my worst week EVER, where everything I had planned to do on my week off went completely wrong and lasted until the beginning of October when Ash broke up with me. So that little crappiness overload dropped me back down into that hole again, but my mates helped me up out of it. Yay for them!
Also in October I started getting more into Numerology and stuff like that - it's interesting, I think, lol - and had a few drunken nights, experienced general crappy feelings on and off throughout the month and was made Co-Forum Manager at JPLegacy.org (the web's largest Jurassic Park information resource - yes, I'm a geek, so the fuck what? lol).
And on to November... Hmm, was a tough month with things going on in regards to work, friends, and guys, where I didn't know what was going on and stuff, but I got through it in the end. Think I've talked about some of the events enough so I don't see need to continue further about it.
Lastly, December comes along, and to be honest, it seems to have been the best month of this year. I've done things I thought I'd never do, and things I rarely do, and apart from the ever-present crappyness at work things went pretty good.
Hehe, so that was my year in brief. I've met a few new people who have affected me greatly in this year. Strangely I got to know them all through MySpace.com lol
Firstly there is Andy, who used to live in Stourport but moved to Brum, to go to the College of Cakes. Almost had a thing going on with him towards the end of the year but that didn't work out because of distance, and other things. But he's been a good online friend throughout the year, although I actually never managed to meet up with him.
Then I met Ashley in Game in Kidderminster, and later on MySpace too. We got talking and eventually started seeing eachother, and for the first time I was actually in a relationship with someone I could actually be with, hold, and was truly happy with. Things didn't work out, however, but we're still friends though so that's all good.
The third good friend of this year is Anthony from Redditch. He has been a really good friend and helped me out a lot despite the fact that we only ever spoke online for most of the year, dunno what I would have done without his advice really. Also he led me to...
...the last but definitely not least, Jon (aka Billy), who is an amazing guy who I really love spending time with and hope to spend lots of time with in the new year. He has become such a good friend in such a short space of time
So, yeah, 2006 certainly has had its ups and downs, but I've pulled through it and think I actually have become a stronger person for it. I've changed a bit too; personality-wise I'm still the same old annoying Andy B, lol. But I seem to have more confidence than I did at the start... Basically because the events of the year have required me to build some up.
Now as for 2007, I plan on finally getting away from McDonald?s. Have grown so fed up of the place now it's unbelievable... Still the same old shite as ever, being under-appreciated and underpaid as ever, so the time has come.
Also I plan on moving out of my parents' house, although this will prolly depend on me getting a new job first so I can afford it. Lol
Don?t plan on any new relationships, I'll just wait and see if anyone comes along. Just looking for new friends and such for now. If I met the right person I'm sure I could make an exception though.
Want to go out with my friends more too, don't seem to do that enough despite having good times.
Soundtrack of the year would definitely be mainly made up of Snow Patrol and Death Cab for Cutie for me... heh, how depressing. Add a dash of The Boy Least Likely To, and My Chemical Romance ;)
Hope everyone has a great night tonight, and hope 2007 gets off to a great start for you all!
Take care,
Andy
xxx
Labels: boys, crap, family, friends, music, new year, websites, work
Revelation
# 27 December 2006 01:50
Okay, I've just had the revelation that my life is a BIG waste of fucking time! GASP!
Suppose I should do something about that.
2007... Hmm, gotta do something. I think I'm ready for big changes now... So I'm gonna go get them or die trying.
Thinking is bad for me. I should stop. Stop me. lol
Back to the cryptic rantings it seems... How old skool... Aaaaanyways:
Take care, peoples
x
Moodyme
# 17 December 2006 00:41
Feeling a bit moody at the moment for some reason.
Fed up with work. Although I did get a £100 bonus in my paycheck this week, wooo! But yeah I'm kinda fed up with it. Some of the people I could do without, but then others make me want to stay. We do have fun sometimes but I dunno it's just a generally shit job, as it always has been. If I did get a new job though I wouldn't want to do the same thing... Hence part of the reason why I didn't go for that Assistant Manager at KFC job. Plus I don't really like KFC anyways.
Managers meal at the Stourport Manor on Thursday night went well. Was a good laugh... With Les (Anna's blow-up man) lol.
Losing respect for a few people at the place though... But gaining respect for a couple more who have stuck up for me recently... Unfortunatly I think those people may be leaving soon. :S
Oh well.
I'm bored out of my mind right now. lol, should prolly be sleeping I guess.
Things are going good with Jon. He's amazing and he makes me so happy. Not seen him for like a whole day and I miss him. heh
Decided I finally need to get my finances sorted out. Sitting around waiting for the lottery win isn't helping. Hmm... Really want to move out sometime. It's my main goal for 2007.
Stressing a bit now cos I remembered about my dentist appointment about 2 days ago. Whoops, guess I'll have to pay some kind of fine for that >.<
And I've proper missed the last posting date for Xmas cards overseas. Need to do my Xmas shopping too. God, I'm panicy now, lol. So disorganised.
The stress-ball I got for my secret santa the other day was obviously a good choice. hehe
Need to do my annual summary of the year soon. Will have to thing about it... This year has definitely had it's ups and downs but it's been better on average than most previous years methinks.
Hmm. Running out of random things to say. Ooooh almost did a £1000 hour over lunch today. Missed it by about 50 quid. how annoying, but it was all good.
Anyways thats about it now. lol
til next time, whenever that may be...
Andy
x
Labels: boys, crap, drunkeness, new year, work
"I'm happy if you're happy...
# 01 December 2006 18:59
...but it breaks my heart."
^ appropriately chosen Boy Least Likely To lyrics. ;)
Yeah, well I'm okay.
Got cheered up in the most random and inexpected way.
I was on my break at work, with a cup of coffee - yes I know I gave up coffee but I drink it when I'm stressed - and I was on MSN on my phone talking to a few people and being generally moody. lol
And I looked down at my coffee and the froth on top had separated into the shape of a smiley face!!
It was AMAZING, it really was. Cheered me up so much with the happy randomness. lol
Aaand so now I can think abit better now I'm not moody. So all is good, plus I've had people reassuring me all day about things.
So I'm gonna stop being such a babby-ass crybaby and get on with it. lol
tis not the end of the world really, is it?
Take care, and thanks :)
x
Yeah
# 30 November 2006 02:33
So there goes that plan.
RANT RANT RANT
# 14:19
URGH! I'm so wound up and frustrated right now like you WOULDN'T BELIEVE.
Nobody frickin replies to any of my texts messages and I have no credit left on my phone to call anyone.
So I come home to chat on MSN cos I am seriously in need of talking, and MSN decided it doesn't want to work!
It's 3.18pm and ALREADY I am considering just going to bed cos I've had enough!
Meh!
Labels: crap
frustrated
# 12 November 2006 20:12
urgh.
i'm just not in the fucking mood right now.
I'm just so tired, frustrated, cranky, fed up, and whatever other wonderful words I can throw in here.
urgh, i dunno. Just need to rant or something.
>.<
Labels: crap
Ack
# 15 October 2006 12:26
Well, at least they didn't get sacked so thats good.
I have a bloddy 2 til 10 in a bit though. Meh. And I have a cold coming on, I think.
And really I'm just posting this cos I'm bored. Don't actually have anything interesting to say. Heh
x
10 Statements
# 14 October 2006 02:24
Write 10 statements for different people.
Don't say who each one is intended for.
(gotta love copy and paste from Word. Sorry about the mess)
1. You are a good person, and you need to stop being so hard on yourself. I'm still your friend if you want me to be, but you have to realise that it's not going to be more than that. I know that may be hard for you to hear, and I honestly don't want to hurt you, but it's just not going to happen.
--> -->2. You are an amazing girl. For someone I only know from online and a few telephone calls we have been through a lot together. You're always there to help me when I need it and I'm eternally grateful for that. I definitely owe you big time.
--> -->3. A lot of the past five years has all been your fault. So it's a good job I've enjoyed it. You're great, and I'm glad you found someone who brings happiness into your life. It was awesome to finally meet you last year, and I hope we meet again some day.
--> -->4. I care about you so much, but at the end of the day I can't argue with anything that makes you happy. So I'm content with being just friends. You've had a bigger impact on my life than I think even I realise at the moment. Just remember that whenever you are in need I'll be there for you because my friends are the most important thing in the world to me.
--> -->5. We really need to get drunk soon.
--> -->6. It's crazy that we have known each other so long and yet don't really talk that much. Thanks for joining my new forum though. lol
--> -->7. One of these days I'll have to meet you because you're a pretty awesome guy. I should have come to your party, but oh well, I guess I'm boring!
--> -->8. Just keep that nail-gun away from me. And be on MSN more.
--> -->9. You've been a great friend to me in recent times. My greatest regret is that I didn't get to know you better sooner. And stop with the llama song, please. lol :P
--> -->10. One of these I will actually manage to go out in Brum. And probably get drunk and make a fool of myself, but it'll be all in the name of fun. So it's all good.
If you figure out which one is for whom, don't say it here.
It'll kind of defeat the object.
Take care
x
i need cheering up
# 11 October 2006 10:22
Why do I always get woken up by the postman needing a signature for a parcel when I've been on the close the night before?
Do they time it deliberately like that?
Can't get back to sleep, so I had to get up, and nobodies online.
Yeah, your dealing with pissed-off Andy today. Last nights close was a nightmare, and todays will prolly be the same.
Had to send one of my mates home cos they kept messing around, and one of my other mates walked out with him. So I've prolly got both of them fired. *sigh*
Had to call up some help to finish off, and I hate doing that. >.<
Working the close again tonight: Oh what fun.
I seem to be having a crappy month so far. Haven't had a proper good day since like, the beginning of the last week of September. Since then it's just been crap. One thing after another, and I'm getting pretty tired of it, to be honest.
Oh, and anyone in the UK wanting to buy a GameCube?
meh.
Random thoughts
# 07 October 2006 06:21
Hmm, my heads a bit weird from last night. Damn you Duane, getting me drunk. Again. Saw Mr Malik downtown too, crazy. lol
Oh well. Paracetamol it is, then. :P
Well, it should be too early in the morning for this thoughtfulness.
Had a weird dream, and me being me I figured out what I think it means.
Basically, sometimes you get what you want easily. Other times you may have to look for it. And occasionally, you might get it, and realise that it wasn't really what you needed afterall, but you still want to get it back.
And when you do get it back, there may be obstacles thrown in the way; little that seem minor, but when you put them all together they do create a barrier between yourself and enjoyment. Some people can get past them easily, but with me it's inevetable that breakages will occur--sometimes even the thing you try to save is the thing that breaks.
But that's life, isn't it?
Sounds prophetic and wise, eh?
In other news, Ash sorted the tickets for the Boy Least Likely To concert, but its been postponed til 23rd Jan... Doh!
Oh well, something to look forward to. Now I need something to do with my weekend. Apart from this 8-4 I am about to do.
Hmm.
Take care ppl
x
not nice
# 06 October 2006 01:43
I just took a paracetamol tablet and it feels like it's stuck halfway down my throat. Geez, I mean how awkward can you get? Making me feel sick.
Dammit.
>.<
Labels: crap
The Saga of Crap
# 01:11
Yess... I'm having a bad run of luck at the moment, it seems.
Was on the close, oh fun fun. First Michelle rang in sick, apparently having collapsed or something... then half way through the night Dan had some bad news and I let him go. Managed to blag Ben to stay on the close and get Kyle to stop til 12, but it was all looking a bit pear-shaped.
Then we ran out of shake mix and regular buns, and later some guy reached in through the drive thru window and robbed £80 out of the till while nobody was there. Great. Just HAPPENs to always be my shift when things go to pot... -_-
And then the bloody PC wouldn't close, so I had to leave it for the morning. The close wasn't to good either, so I'll prolly get a bollocking tomorrow. *sigh*
I need a new job. Anyone? Please? :(
lol
Oh wells.
Rang a friend on my break cos I feel the need to go get drunk and talk a bit about... things. So hopefully I shall be rather merry tomorrow night. hehe
Soon I'll be inviting a few peoples to join the staff for my new site... Maybe tomorrow if I can be bothered. lol
til next time
x
Labels: crap, friends, it could only happen on an Andy Beard close, websites, work
Blog spree
# 05 October 2006 02:10
I seem to be on a blog spree at the moment, lol
Wishing I'd blogged more recently. Seems like I don't post blogs when I'm happy. lol, but just been looking back at some of my old blogs, and finding them hilarious. Although some are a bit disturbing cos I know I wasn't in a sane state of mind when I wrote some of them. hmm, oh well.
I intend on finally getting round to writing the big reflectiveness bit about myself, and how i overcame the mess of bleh-ness that I had going on way back when. Maybe it would help people know me better, or maybe even help people somehow. Hmm, I dunno.
Also, been fiddling with this Numerology thingy, where you enter in your name and date of birth, and it supposedly tells you a lot about your personality. Some of it is quite strangely accurate, but I don't place too much faith in it. Just a bit of fun, IMO. If anyone wants me to geenrate a Numerology Report for them, just let me know. Might be interesting. Certainly makes me think... And for some very odd reason, me thinking doesn't seem to be such a bad thing for me as it was. I have a theory as to why, but I'll need to (lol) think on that a bit more.
Now really, I'm not going to post another blog today, geez.
Talk to ye all laters, ye amazing peoples. :)
x
Labels: crap
oh my god
# 00:58
Was just looking back at my old blog archivey stuff... for some reason I wanted to look at my old depressing stuff :P
But anyways, just found a post from 2003... I knew it had been a while, but geez, it was THAT long!?
:O
Oooh, Now maybe I've bumped that blog-that-makes-me-cringe-everytime-I-see-it into the archives. >.<
Seeyas, all!
x
Hmm...
# 04 October 2006 22:29
Hmm, I just thought. stupid illness maybe caused by these tablets I be taking for my crappy skin. Oxytetrasomething. I'll see how it goes, maybe i'll get used to them.
And I remembered I DO have something else to report. Started working on that random chat site AT LAST. The one based on the Bar and Grill series of threads around the place, so look out for that soon. May be asking a few people if they want to join the staff for the startup. :P
Decided to go with IPB, cos vBulletin although rather nice, is also rather expensive. Maybe I'll switch to vBulletin later if the site makes any money (doubtful).
I'm sure there was something else I was going to say, but I have forgotten what that was. Hmm. Oh well.
laters
x
grah @ illness
# 22:03
Geez, I seem to be suffering from some kind of.. thing. lol
It's weird, i've not been able to finish my lunch for two days in a row. Dinner was alright though... Probably because by the time dinner comes around I'm starving after not having a proper lunch. And then there is the annoying headache of doooom.
Paulette gave me some paracetamol at work so all is good... I shall just throw tablets at it til it goes away. Feeling sick now, actually. Grr.
And earlier my sister announced that she'd borrowed my PS2 and taken it into her room. I'm like, erm, you what?
Thought I'd come back with the oh-so-witty "i don't walk into your room and take your TV without asking, do I?" -- to which she said that I could. >_>
Not quite the desired effect. Ash said I should go borrow her TV while she was using it to play my PS2. Kinda liked that idea... hehehe. But I didn't, because I'm not that mean.
Anything else to report? Hmm, no don't think so. Close tomorrow, how fun. -_-
You know, I might actually try to use this blog once in a while now. Just for a laugh, and cos I have nothing better to do with my time. *shifty eyes*
'til next time
take care
x
alright alright
# 03 October 2006 16:56
Need to stop being so depressed. Not going to get very far in life like that, am I?
So I was on a 9 til 5, funfun. Was supposed to have my Performance Review, but Ad forgot to bring it in *rolls eyes*
I was dreading Duane coming in cos I knew he would be a pain... Within 5 minutes: "Still with Ashley?" DOH. Soo then he kept bugging me all day, which was actually quite amusing by the end of the shift... as well as kinda annoying.
I'm cheered up a bit now. Got some horrible flu-like thing though... Hardly ate anything for lunch and had a headache all day, bit of paracetamol cleared that right up though when I got home.
Yeah, so I guess I discovered why having lots of good friends is better than having a couple of best friends, so I must thank all the peoples who helped me out the last couple days (in no particular order):
Allan, Karla, Mandi, Pod, Prin, Matt, Ty, Chris, Kim, Duane, Anna, Jess, David, Andy, Du, JM, Vice, and anyone I may have forgotten.
And that's how many people it takes to pull me out when I let myself fall into a hole. Kidding. ;)
But most of all, I want to thank Ashley, for being great. :)
We're still friends and that's what matters.
So... Chin up, and face the world, I guess.
Take care guys
x
hate this feeling
# 02 October 2006 20:52
yeah, so what i feared turned out to be true.
its the crappy end to my crappy week.
Ashley broke up with me today.
Still friends though.
worst fucking week ever
# 04:46
i've had the worst fucking week in my history.
monday and tuesday were alright, but i hadn't planned anything.
Wednesday i went to help my boyfriend, Ashley, clear some boxes and stuff from his new room after his move. I was supposed to be drinking with friends from work in the evening, but they all decided to go out in the afternoonwhen i was busy...
actually.. to be honest i can't even be fucking bothered to type this out agaian. but yeah it sucks. and there is something else which has me close to tears right now, and i fucking hate it. i'll prolly blog about it later, but hopefully not...
can't sleep. drinking coffee... at nearly 6am. yay. oh fun.
yeah, i suck.
*sulk*
# 26 August 2006 21:03
Meh, feeling abit bleh at the moment.
Was really tired when I woke up this morning, and sorta fell asleep again, when I finally got up at 11:45 I struggled to stay awake til about 12:30 when I had to get ready for work, cos I was on a rather odd 1 til 9 today for some reason.
So, I go to work tired. And with me that's never good cos if I start off badly then it just gets worse. Anywhoo... I'm wondering how I'm going to get up for my 9 til 5 tomorrow if I was too knackered to get up for a 1 til 9, and Ad asks me if I can come in and do an 8 til 4 instead... and I AGREE like an eejit.
So yeah after dealing with tiredness and silly staff that don't like listening and stuff I eventually become moody and bitchy and all that, so it's all been funfun today. lol
And Duane was trying to get me to go to some silly little friggin church group with him. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK!? I went to church every week for the first 18 years of my life, so i think i've had ebnough of it, thank-you. I have no problem with people who go to church, or who love Jesus or whatever, AS LONG AS THEY LEAVE ME OUT OF IT.
It's all very well saying I'll go to hell for not believing in a god, but it's not going to affect me much if I don't believe that hell exists. Well, technically Hell is a town in Norway. Which is quite funny cos Norway is snowy so Hell is forzen over. hehe.
Anyways.
Home now, still tired. Had a headache all day and I think I had the last two paracetamol this morning... But I'll have to go hunting for soem laters.
Ashley is at a wedding reception tonight so I can't talk to him. Tempted to text him, but I don't want to be annoying or anything. :/
Dunno what time he'll be back either, so prolly won't get to talk to him til tomorrow.
At least after tomorrow I have two days off. Not working the bank holiday, surprise surprise. Never get to work bank holidays. *pout* All I want is the double pay. lol
Shall prolly go into town or something. Being tempted to buy a Nintendo DS, even though I know I have no money so I might just leave it a couple of months til I have paid off my credit card again. >.<
By which time I'll prolly have to use it for the PS3 I preordered at Gamestation. Hmm. Dunno how I'm going to afford to go to Los Angeles next year either. Craziness. It's in May, so that's like... 8 months away, and they still haven't announced anything about hotels yet. Or entrance passes actually, either. Maybe I should renew my Hyperspace membership so I can get the cool fanclub extras that I won't bother with like at Celebration III, lol.
Mmm... Eating some Oreos now. Grinnall's in town have started selling boxes of 16 for the grand sum of 99 pennies. So all is good on the biscuity side of things. Although I wonder how they can put "The World's No 1 Buscuit!" on the box... Cos if they were indeed the world's #1 then surely they wouldn't be so goddamn hard to find?
Seriously, Grinnall's is the only shop that sells them in a town of what... 25,000?
Not sure where sells them in Kidder, although I have heard one of the supermarkets does.
Yeah, I'm bored and rambling now, so when that happens it's best if I shut the hell up.
Take care,
Andy
x
PS: Geez, and now the bloody thing won't post... Keeps telling me there is no space left on the server. ERM! I think there is. Grrr.
Labels: boys, Celebration, crap, friends, gaming
Grrr!
# 19 August 2006 01:08
I hate it when plans change!
Oooh well, never mind.
Now what shall I do with this weekend off?
Suggestions anyone?
happy families
# 27 September 2003 22:24
Damn, I just love my family. And I just really love the way we all get along. Shit.
Just got back from my cousin's wedding. We weren't expecting anything that followed protocol, because thats just not the way he is, but everyone seems to delight in bitching about everything that is even remotely bitching-worthy.
All I have heard all night is about what my cousins have done and why they don't deserve anything, why we hate out aunt, and why our nan must be blind. I'm just so goddamn sick of it I'd fucking walk out and never come back if I didn't care about them so much.
Urgh. What did I do to deserve this wretched existence. I can't wait until death, it has to be more enjoyable than this.
Don't worry, I'm not going to go out and kill myself or some shit like that. I could never do that - it would cause more pain to the people I love than it would relieve me from. I can put up with it. I'll get bloody pissed off, but I'll put up with it.
Now, gwyn sent this email today which really hit home. I'll copy and paste it here as my final message. Hey, a moral to the story? *shrug*
There once was a little boy who had a bad
temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails
and told him that every time he lost his
temper, he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered
it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't
lose his temper at all. He told his father
about it and the father suggested that the
boy now pull out one nail for each day that
he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally
able to tell his father that all the nails
were gone. The father took his son by the
hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You
have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be
the same. When you say things in anger,
they leave a scar just like this one. You
can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say I'm
sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal
wound is as bad as a physical one.
Should follow my own advice
# 09 September 2003 17:38
Argh. The car failed it's MOT miserably. On lights, indicators, brake condition and performance, suspension, seatbelt mountings. It'd cost twice the asking price to put right at least!
Needless to say I'm not going to keep it. I let myself get too optimistic about it and now I've come crashing back down to the real world.
Good and Bad
# 18 August 2003 12:26
Good:
There is a dentist in the town that is accepting NHS patients! Yay!
Now that should save me a bit of money. My current dentist switched over to being for private patients only at the beginning of the year, so now I am paying a yearly fee just for having a dentist. We're going to swap over to the NHS one, because then we only need to pay a lower rate, and only for treatment. So it's all good.
Bad:
We realised my dad's Curriculum Vitae ("Resume" in America) was lost when my old harddrive died. So now he's making me type it up from a copy he had printed out... *sigh*
Here goes...
# 14 August 2003 21:18
Just got in after a visit round to my aunts house.
It was my youngest cousin's 2nd birthday, so we went round and were suprised to see my two oldest cousins there aswell. We haven't seen them around for a while, because of a few incidents which I won't go into. Ian was there with his fiancee, Claire, and his son Josh. My grandad was obviously trying to ignore the presence of Simon, as he is the root of a lot of family problems. Personally I was glad to see them again, it felt like old times to me, and I look forward to seeing them at Ian's wedding in September.
In the car on the way home, as I suspected they would, my family started talking about the doubts over whether Josh is actually Ian's son. Personally my opinion on this is that if both Ian and Claire are happy that Josh is his then is it really anyone elses business? Is it just me that feels this way?
Trainees
# 11 August 2003 16:57
Argh... We had a new girl starting today and I had to train her on grill-side. She was just doing dressings, I was on buns (and in charge of the grill team), and there was another person who started a month or so ago working the grill.
It's bad enough trying to explain something to someone who has never done it before... But I had to keep my eye on the guy who was supposed to know what he was doing aswell, because he kept messing up. I've been in worse situations though, before I was on the training team...
The new girl had to go home early because she was sick anyway, lol.
So I get home to have a nice cup of coffee to keep me awake, and the milk had gone off, so I had to wait until my mum got back with some shopping... Grrr...
Oh, Just an afterthought, 'twas 101 F down in Kent yesterday. And that is the hottest it has ever got in Britain since records began in 1875. Coolness.
Or hotness, anyway...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
# 10 August 2003 15:10
Our fridge broke! ARGH!
Luckily we still have our old one... The broken one is only 6 years old, and it's a fridge and freezer, but the freezer part works fine. So we just got out the old fridge which we normally only use when we have extra stuff in, like more food, drink or beer when we have a load of visitors coming round. It's over 20 years old and still works. lol.
It's really annoying though, because we can't afford a new one right now. Since my dad lost his job last year everything started breaking. We've had to replace the tumble dryer, kettle, washing machine, television, cooker, and now the fridge too. But it looks like we'll have to make do with what we got right now.
My dad is stuck in a low-paying job right now just so we can afford to keep the house, but he has an application in for a design job with some company in Gloucester. I dunno what it is designing, but I do know it isn't what he did before.
I hope he gets it...
Arghness
# 03 August 2003 01:23
Well today has just been brilliant... Well yesterday really, seeing as it's 2.15am... But anyways: First off, I was on a 4-11 at work. I hate evening shifts because I spend all day thinking about going to work. Then when I get there I'm on Window 3 with a new girl, it probably would have been alright if I was actually on window 3 a lot, and knew what was going on. We were also vastly understaffed later, so we were just waiting on most of the food and orders were takeing forever to get taken out - resulting in a lot of customers being annoyed at me.
Then, while the managers were sorting out stuff for the close and cashing up, I was the most senior non-manager on the front, which meant I was in charge of the front... Which isn't easy when the other people were a bunch of twats who didn't give a shit, and wouldn't listen to half of what I said unless it was convenient for them.
Then I realise I've also lost my wallet. Just perfect... I know it's at home somewhere...
Woohoo!
# 25 July 2003 18:01
So I finally went to the doctors today about those pains in my chest that keep happening at random times... And he had a listen to my lungs and heart and is convinced it's just a case of a twitchy muscle, but I got to let him know if it gets more serious.
lol... I got myself worked up for nothing... Some of you probably know I'm a serial worrier, and will worry about anything. Plus I always expect the worst... Damn, the things I was expecting him to say... Well anyway... it looks like it's all clear! Yay!
Late Entry
# 24 July 2003 20:25
This is for yesterday... I'd forget my brain if... Oh wait, never mind.
Anyways... Yesterday I was working 7.15 - 'til 4, I was in the kitchen, on grill, looks like they finally found someone else who can do drive-thru. The schools have broken up for the summer holidays, so we have extra staff during the day now. Unfortunatly it's also busier in the day, which leaves less time for slacking.
Anyways, everything was going fine, the shift went pretty quickly, but then I realised that both my parents were at work, meaning I had no lift home. Worse still, I had no money so I decided to walk back home. Remind me never to do that again... I left work at about 4.10, and at 4.50 I was only just crossing the town boundary. Not wanting to walk all the way home, I phoned my mum to wait for me when she finished at 5pm, luckily she did, but it wasn't until 5.10 that I actually got there - she'd only just finished, so it worked alright in the end.
# 18 July 2003 22:01
I don't know what to do...
Part of me wants to forgive him, and apologise for being such an arse, yet I'm still mad at him, and sent a not-to-pilote reply to an email...
I wish I could make the right choice, instead of constantly screwing everything up.
And on to other news... I'm still single, having not yet plucked up the courage to ask that girl out... I dunno whether it would work ut anyway, she's 3 years younger than me... Plus I dunno what to say, or how to go about this... Argh... If I hadn't devoted my life to my comp perhaps I'd be with someone already...
# 04:14
Uhh... I got like no stleep at all last night... And soon I have to go do a nice 8hr shift at work... Lovely...
# 17 July 2003 14:24
I'm not in the best of moods right now, so it would not be a good idea for anyone to try annoying me.
Last night some of you may have been asked by me who "frog maul" was on AIM... Well I know now who it is, and I'm so pissed off at them. Any respect I had left for them has now completely evaporated.
I don't care whether I deserved it or not, and it just further enforces my opinion that nobody can be trusted. I hope you're laughing at your joke, because I'm certainly not, and don't ever come near GB again.
# 26 May 2003 22:11
Now I'm really pissed off... I tripped and dropped my camera, and now the zoom lense it stuck out, and it won't do anything.
I'm so angry with myself that I've already done/said a couple of things I shouldn't have or didn't really mean.
I dunno what I'll do if it can't be fixed...
# 23 May 2003 16:03
Damn it's been so busy at work today... I am totally exhausted.
I dunno why it has been so busy, all I know is that there was a queue out the dorr almost all day, I started at 7.15am and didn't get my break until 1pm, which is probably illegal, but I don't really give a fuck right now. Too damn tired to be bothered about it.
Even when I left at 4, the sad bastards where still piling in through the Drive Thru, ordering their crappy meals with extra crap to go with the crap they just got... It's days like these when you which you had phoned in sick, or you feel like 'accidently' plunging your hand in to a 182 oC vat of cooking oil, just so you don't have to work.
I'm gonna get changed... And maybe go to sleep. Although most likely I'll end up stuck on GBnet or playing some game...
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